My song

The Clouds

2010-02-27T22:08:00.002-07:00

To everybody was following, or follows this blog, it has been retired. There is a link to my new, full-time project on the title, The Clouds. I update daily, and if you find any of the things I've mentioned here interesting, please, check it out, and share your opinions

See you there.

-Chris

romancewasboring.blogspot.com

First Train Home

2009-10-10T15:21:00.002-06:00

Well, this last week has been an odd one. Fantastic highs, and laughably pitiful lows come together to make something that's memorable, but tiring beyond belief. Nothing I can't handle, but it just makes the whole idea of "When it rains, it pours" hit very close to home.

What I mean when I say that is, things don't happen a little bit at a time. Walls and rules have been formed over years upon years, and it takes a while to gather the momentum to breath through them without hurting anyone. Once you get moving though, you don't find you want to stop after getting past the first barrier... after all, after all of that effort, why stop, only to try to get the speed back up later? So you keep going and going, until you realize that your farther away from your starting point that what you ever thought you could get. Everything that you've rushed past is gone, and what's in front of you is something that you now know you posses the ability to bypass, but you still unsure if your really ready to get past it.

On a related note, is there a more powerful force than love? The jealousy, the heartache and the madness one girl can drive someone to is matched only by the joy, the life, the loss of sleep and the dreams that can be instilled in the same soul in but a second. To have your sanity ripped away with you, and exchanged with nothing but clouds, full of sunshine and storms. I can't help but smile every time I so much as think about her.

That's about all I've got to say for this week. Don't know when I'll write again, but it shouldn't be too long

All shadows have to have a light to be created.

I, Megaphone

2009-10-03T11:17:00.003-06:00

Hey there. Some two and a half months later, here I am. Alive and well as ever. Life is still amazing, love is still amazing. Summer is quickly changing into Autumn here. Looking out the window the skies are gray, and the leaves on the trees are burning brightly, glistening with the frigid October rain. The nights aren't quite freezing, but the cold leaves a crispness in your lungs and a silver frost on the windows.

Life is beautiful, and love is amazing. Between dancing with disaster, trying to earn everything you've been given by the world around you, and finding time to step back and take in the smell of the rain, sometimes there's not a lot of room for "you". Guess what I've learned? "You" is in all of this. You're never without your own intuition and soul. From President to Punk, we all have an undying spirit inside of. No job, no life, and no affilation can strip us of who and what we are.

Drowning in life, and in the undying spirit of humanity. I'm Chris, this is Thingsleftunsaid, the ramblings of a madman, and I'm back.

Deep breath, open your eyes, and see what the world is.

All of a Sudden, I Miss Everyone

2009-07-13T09:09:00.004-06:00

So... It's happened a third time. That game has sunk it's claws into me again, and once again I find myself not only not fighting back, but accepting it's pull. Ladies and gentlemen, I speak of nothing more than the Korean MMORPG of Maplestory.

Twice before I've played this game, and leveled characters to the low twenties, but somehow life always manages to divert me from the game after I log around a day worth of playtime... but, it's summer, and I don't have a lot going on in my life... with nothing to distract me, I don't know how long this will go on for, and the longer it goes on for, the more attached I get to my avatar, and the harder it is to cut the ties.

Anyways, the other item on my writing agenda besides my latest addiction is a simple concept most of us hardly think about: Texting. Yes, it's convinient, yes, it's novel and sometimes... yes, it is very practical to be able to connect with your loved ones without really disrupting them, or yourself. It leaves me with just one question though: What happens to isolation? For one to be truly alone requires that communication be cut for either the sender or recipiant, but what if that communication is always there? On some level, is this an end to helplessness and desolation, and is that really a good thing? Just food for thought I suppose. I'm not exactly certain of what my thoughts on the matter are. Contemplate it, I suppose.

Well, I need to return to life now... maybe get some breakfast.
Never give up- every problem has a solution, but sometimes rules need to be broken.

Baka Neku, Neku Basu

2009-07-10T11:19:00.005-06:00

So, life's better than it was last post. I'm past the sadness and the hurt that came to transpire a week ago. It's still tender, but it's done, and it's a moot issue to worry about, so I'm trying not to (which is kind of a big deal for me).
Anyways, leaving the past in the past, what's been happening for me lately is a blast. For starters, last night I had a Hayao Miyazaki marathon with my girlfriend and her brother. (Over the course of six-ish hours we watched Princess Mononoke, My Neighbor Totoro, and Spirited Away) It's kind of interesting to think about the movies though. They're all from the same director, and the exact same animation studio, but entirely different genres of movie, ranging from a feudal war between gods and man, to a journey of the imagination of two small children.
Getting back on topic, it really was a great night. I learned a few things about the dynamics of the relationship of a certain brother and sister, and the trust and... dare I say, love going on between two siblings. It really put things in perspective for me, because although I am close to my own brother, it's different because we're the same gender, and my own sisters are much younger than me. In their case though it's a sort of (for lack of better term) loyal friendship. They bicker from time to time, but they look out for one another, in a most unconventional manner. In a weird sort of way, it's refreshing, and flat-out heartwarming to see this kind of bond between two people. On a related note though, I fear I may have lost some of my reputation with her brother due to the transpiration of certain events, and my taste in films.
Well, that's all I've got for this Friday... I need to go now, life is calling me

I fight like you want to fight
I love like you want to love
I'm smart, capable, but most of all I'm free in all the ways you'll never be.

-Chaotic Neutral

P.S. To a certain someone
I apologize for not being able to take certain matters into my own hands recently, and I appriciate you... helping me out. Honestly, I've never had a better time learning to be myself in my life.

The Knife Going In.

2009-06-29T22:42:00.003-06:00

I screwed up. I screwed up badly, and I don't think that I'll be able to fix it. At best, this situation will be a messy one, and I'll come out of it with all sorts of unsightly bruises and scars. At worst... well, suffice it to say, I might learn how just much pain I can handle. If that happens, it'll take a hell of a lot more than a few days in bed and a lot of fluids to heal me.
Deep breath.

The Bends

2009-06-28T00:03:00.003-06:00

That last post was bad, and I apologize to whoever read it, and I thank those of you who did read it and are still for coming back for more.
I'm going to keep this post much briefer than the last, because I'm running on very few hours of sleep, and it's getting pretty late.
Well, I found out about an interesting deal an acquaintance of mine has with her father: If she doesn't kiss a boy until her 19th birthday (she's currently 16), he will reward her a sum of $10,000. To be frank, I think this is puerile. The way I see it, a father is bribing his daughter because he's scared of what she might do, and this isn't something one can put a price tag on. To me, it feels like he's robbing her of one of the greatest parts of being young; romance and unmitigated passion. To know that feeling for even a single instant is worth more than all of the wealth in the world, and this poor girl is being cheated of it. I suppose I shouldn't be so upset with this, but... ugh, I don't know why I feel so strongly on this matter. I just do. I mean... speaking strictly logically, a single kiss means nothing, it's just a matter of feeling. Of sharing. Of the sweet seduction of a summers night, and knowing that being held in that certain someones arms, you're not alone.
Anyways, that's all I've got to say. I'd appreciate any comments concerning other people's thoughts on the matter

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone could see in anyone else
But you

Comfort Eagle

2009-06-08T16:35:00.008-06:00

Good afternoon, internet. In case any of you still check up on this, or are still following it, this blog is not dead. Not yet anyways. Suffice it to say, I've just been in somewhat of a creative slump, and I haven't had much drive to do anything for the last month or so, but I think I'm better now. Anyways, now that I'm armed with new found lessons, stories and ideas, my goal is to do a super-long post to make up for my absence. The one thing that I want to mention about this post before I begin though is that it's going to be written in a letter format to a friend, whose name I won't disclose. She'll have been sent a link to this, and it'll make up for my hotmail being out of commission.
Hey you
Yeah, I know it's been a while, and as you can see, I'm not replying in a conventional fashion, but I'm way overdue for a blog post, and the way I see it, this is killing two birds with one stone. Anyways, yeah... life has been crazy lately. Going to Portland was an amazing trip. It's really a very pretty city, and because of all of the rainfall, and the temperate environment next to the ocean there's a lot of plant life, which give the city a very nice organic, but still modern feel to it. On that note, however, I want to say something about how ridiculous Americans can be. I honestly got asked why I didn't speak in a Canadian dialect, or if it was snowing at home. Honestly, what is this about? Why do people refuse to educate themselves? Maybe I'm just being a bit impulsive here, but I'm kinda bothered by this. Why on Earth would somebody make ludicrous statements like that with no evidence whatsoever to back it up? People are silly, and I'll leave it at that. I'm pretty sure most will agree with me about this... but if they agree, then why would they do it? But, I'm getting away from what I really want to talk about.. It's somewhat of a waste of effort on my part. All I ask of my readers is to try to observe the world around them, and make their own judgment, free of what their own culture in. And, for the love of God, if you think you've found something worthwhile, share it with the world!
On the note of my music, I've had a ton of intellectual and emotional inspiration for music. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that spring and summer have finally set themselves free, and it's warm and green around her again. Maybe it has something to do with the generally cheerful attitude of the people in my hometown, and small realizations that I have wonderful friends, a loving family and an amazing girlfriend. Then again, it might just be a random creative spell. Whatever works, I guess. Anyways, this would be way better than it is, except that I've had a lot of trouble finding the motivation to pick up my guitar and a notebook and actually figure out something beautiful... oh well, to be fair I have been very busy, and I've been trying to come up with something that reflects myself. Perhaps before too long my latest work will be ready to be unveiled. If so, I'll be sure to post it up here.
Speaking more of music (but not my own) I've discovered a few very unique and talented artists over the past few months. I'm only going to write about one of these groups, for the idea of this being a post about me, and not other bands. The band I want to talk about a little bit would be The Most Serene Republic. This seven-man group has been pretty big on the Canadian indie scene ever since the release of their first EP with A.&C.. Anyways, my discovery of their third album "Population" has definitely revolutionized the way that I look at music and what is capable of musicians. If anyone who is into Canadian indies, or wants to have their views changed up is reading this I strongly suggest you check out this album.
Right now my school is in the middle of finals, which is (as we all know) somewhat of a stressful experience. I chose to not let the stress get to me, but for the last few days that struggle has been becoming harder and harder, due to my own worrying about my grades, and my new job with the RCMP (which I can't elaborate much on). Anyways, this stress has been having somewhat of a noticeable effect on the people around me. Many of my friends and peers have been somewhat irritable lately, and mood swings seem to run rampant in the minds of the people around me... either way, it doesn't matter. Final are over on Wednesday, then I've got nothing at all to worry about.
Well... I feel like there's more that I want to write, but I don't know what to say. I suppose I'll just do another post if anything else really comes to me. The plan that I have for the duration of the summer is that I'm going to try to keep a journal again. If I actually do succeed in this, then I'll try to update this blog more regularly. Perhaps once a week or so. I mean, I have a lot to say, so why not say it?

I can't help it if I think it's funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile when I feel bad
I'm the kinda guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean? You soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

-Chris

P.S. To that one person: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you, and I understand that this little tidbit of information is hardly an adequate reply to your plea, but right now it's the best I can do. After finals I'll have the time to write more, but for now, I'm starved for time. This being know, please be certain that I want the same thing that you do, and I miss it just as badly as you.

Beautiful Midnight

2009-04-11T15:56:00.002-06:00

Woohoo! I'm on spring break!... Which really isn't as exciting as it sounds. So far, this break hasn't been an exciting one, consisting mainly of me trying to find ways to pass time until the day is over... to be frank, I'm doing this post out of boredom, not actual inspiration. I'm slightly dissapointed with myself for this, I must confess... I mean, it's spring break! I should be partying with friends, going places and doing stuff with my peers, not sitting at home, debating if it'd be worthwhile to take a nap whilst I blog.
Getting off topic, EVERYBODY who is reading this needs to see this. It's extremely motivational. www.tweenbots.com Truly, it says something about us as humans... it's a message we don't hear often, but one that should be.
Well, my brief time mentioned in "Clumsy" as Romeo Montegue is over... in that time though, I kinda got to know the whole Shakespearian experience a bit, and the whole idea and culture behind his writing is really quite amazing. I don't think there's any other author who can capture the entire culture of an entire era as well as he. In a weird way, I feel a little bit like some of the personality of Romeo has been seeping over to me. Over the last little while I've been acting more impulsive that usual on certain issues (one or two of you reading this might know what I'm talking about). It's really strange. I have honestly felt kinda different, and I really don't know what the cause is... I'll give more out on that later.

I feel empty. I can't explain how it feels, or exactly what it is I'm feeling, but emptiness is the best way to describe. It's just... nothing... and for lack of better words from there as well, I hate it. I wish something would happen to make me have some sort of feeling, but life just seems to be at some kind of a halt right now. Maybe it's my pent-up stress about certain issues in my life, maybe it's worrying about people, or being concerned about the future, whatever. It's just... there, and I'm not.

-Falling stars

Clumsy

2009-03-28T15:47:00.002-06:00

Well... I fear to whisper this, but I will anyways: I finally believe that spring is here! Somehow, though, it feels like every time that I work up the confidence to sing this from the rooftops of the darkened city that is the Albertan skies, the fates conspire to obliterate whatever optimistic fantasy of sun I've conjured... but no matter! I have faith that the time is finally nigh!

Anyways, I've been rather busy lately, between schoolwork, relationships, and a new writing project I've been putting a fair deal into (a bit more on that later)... also, as my means of speaking have been showing for the last few weeks, I've been studying "Romeo & Juliet" in English, and I've really been enjoying it. It should also be noted that I've been selected for the part of Romeo, and I've been having a great time with that, and have been trying (though not very hard, albeit) to let the part get to my head. Lets see... Ah! In other academic news, the MHS concert band has been nominated to go to provincials in Red Deer, sometime in May! Hopefully, things will go well, and we'll be able to go, and make a good name for our little town.

However, every silver lining also has it's cloud.
Recently I did something most simple, but equally as inadvisable: Simply put, I missed the last song. My actions hurt the one closest to me, and in the process I did a tiny bit of damage that can't be undone. Yes, I realize that with only the greatest of ease I can do something inverse to what I already have done, but that will just build around a tiny hole. Again, I realize that a repair might make the previously mentioned metaphorical dam stronger than it ever was, but the hole is still there, a tiny pockmark to be ogled at by any passerby's who dare to look a bit more closely than most.

Well... I think that's all I've got for now. In later times, I'll write more about my upcoming literary project, and I'll try to keep in touch more

The mother is getting getting confused, lost in the supermarket, and on the way home, we go dancing in the fountain. It always seems like a good idea, and that's because it is a good idea. We're just like... the first man in the state of nature. We're invalid, we're ignorant, and we're stupid, but above all we're happy
It's you, it's me, and it's dancing

And of all the things you thought you knew
-Chris Gast

Stop the Clocks

2009-03-08T19:28:00.003-06:00

Oh dear Lord... I need to be doing more writing. My apologies for succumbing to my laziness like this, but I've been fairly busy with life.
*sigh* I'm done of winter. A few days ago I felt certain that the clouds would finally part, and I could once again bask in the suns rays, and bid farewell to the ice for at least a few months. However, we in southern Alberta were given no such sympathy by mother nature. -To all readers- Be grateful if you live somewhere where there is no snow in March.
Over the past few days everyone in my home has been doing battle with an illness of sorts, and recently, I've succumbed to this vile micro-organism. My head bears a certain similarity to the feeling a church bell must have... as for the rest of my body, I feel dizzy to the point of having difficulty standing up, and (possibly to attribute to my lack of balance) I have no energy whatsoever. At this point I feel like I'm borrowing the flow of my music just to keep from falling asleep on the keyboard... come to think of it, I'm actually typing in sync with the rhythm of my music, which is kinda sad. (Which, BTW is the sophomore album of Dallas Green (AKA City and Colour) "Bring me Your Love". Very nice old-school folky sound, with a nice blend of passionate lyrics. Nothing new or special, but it's all done very well.)
Hm... it's times like this that I almost wish that nobody read my blog, so that I could say things that would offend practically all of the people who read this, and to those it didn't offend, it would just give away more of myself than I'm willing to put out there... again, to anyone curious enough to ask, feel free to fire away with the questions. I can't promise you I'll answer, but depending on who you are, I might throw you a line if I'm in the right mood.
Gah... I think that's about all I've got in me for now. I'm sorry for not writing more, but I don't think my brain can handle too much more of this

And to quote one of the most overused love songs ever "And maybe, you'll be the one who saves me"

-The kid who didn't make it

Sing the Sorrow

2009-02-14T18:02:00.002-07:00

Okay, this one is going to go, for sure, no questions asked. This is my third attempt to do an entry in the last five days, and I'm really hoping that this one will actually work. With the other two I never really went anywhere with them, and they just felt like a waste of text, so I never published them.
As for news in the life of Chris, today is Valentines day, which although is not exactly how I envisioned it to be, is still going to be pretty great. Know why? Because I say it will be, and that's all I need. Take that world.
Another thing that I really want to make a brief comment on, is that I've actually found myself improving at playing the guitar, a fact which overjoys me. I've been pushing myself in how I play, an it's been paying off!... and I think that that's about all that's been happening in my life really, unless you want me to start a monologue on my school life (and trust me, you don't want that. At all.)

I am bored out of my skull. (As in literally, my head is hurting)
It's a Sunday afternoon, and I have absolutely nothing going on, at all. I wish I had interesting thoughts to talk about, or life events that I feel comfortable sharing with the entire friggin' world, but I've got nothing, which makes me feel like a terribly boring person right now.
So, to substitute, I'm going to post a little monologue that I did for my English class about two weeks ago. The link to the picture is;
http://www.saudek.com/en/jan/obrazky-na-plochu.html?o=04-wp

Honor. Nobility. Morality. All those things, they’re only whatever you make them out to be. Adhering to the basic principals that can justify your sleep at night. The way I see it is just as the struggle to make you feel like a good person. Justify the sins we all commit by trying to play with honesty, and indiscrimination while hoping that the rest are going by the same standards as you.

The figure in the image: A blissful representative of a certain curiosity and mystery. Perhaps pondering the contents of the train. Maybe he’s reflecting upon the events of the day, using the deafening roar of the train as his own inverse tranquility. What’s to say he’s not waiting for the sunrise, and the train is nothing but coincidence, making for an annoying behemoth of an obstacle between our bare-footed subject, and his taste of gold? From my point of view, all of the above are irrelevant. Either way, the feeling, which is conveyed by the photographer (an art, which I believe, is on par with even the highest caliber of writing, or the writers behind it), is positively undeniable. The simplicity implies not only the photographer’s standpoint, but somehow the simple grace of the little things. One of the things that I really want to draw attention to would be how the entire left half of the picture is empty. Sure, there is the blurry outline of the train, and some dry grasses featured here, but in contrast to the right half, is extremely simple, and that to me, is the embodiment of passionate honor. Being true to oneself in an artistic expression, and avoiding conforming to a conventional opinion is truly a beautiful thing.

It might not seem like this to others, but I think that the way the photographer was subtle, yet very blunt with a single image, states everything that is needed. Picturing the seductive allure of the loneliness, which we (as humans) all crave from time to time. Of course, there is the blatant roadblock of reality that keeps us making our own seclusion into an actuality.

Which brings us back to the point mentioned in the paragraph prior to the last. Staying true to you is the purest kind of honor. Keeping your own desires, ambitions, and morals, and not losing track of you.

*This is not part of the things*
Hey! Notice the trick I did? I took six-hundred words, and used them to make nothing! Yay me!

-The only thing to be more wary of than those who wish you ill are those who want to love you.

Earthless

2009-02-04T20:04:00.002-07:00

Her bedroom is her temple, her books and stereo her muse
And she feels humbled by this equation, and sets fire to all her shoes
Not because of Heaven and Hell. She's just not leaving anytime soon
And as the smoke pours out her window, a face forms behind the moon
And it looks like the face of Jesus, but if it's Jesus, she needs proof

Ah, Rain Maida, you never fail to make me smile, between your excellent acoustics, haunting voice, and dark lyrics (and that's not even bringing up his kick-ass falsetto.)
Well then, where should I begin... I can't quite remember when my last post was, but odds are I haven't been doing very much since then. The only change that has happened lately is that the new classes I've got going on this semester are dolling out a fair deal more homework than those of the first... which doesn't make for a very exciting blog post, if I do say so myself.
*mental note to self*-Think of things to write about before you actually commence writing. It makes it actually worth reading.
Wait! I lied, I do have one thing that I want to say something about! Valentines day is just around the corner! Minus the terribly grim history, I do really enjoy this time of year, A) because (as a friend of mind continually reminds me) I'm a hopeless romantic, and B) for the first time in my life, I actually have someone to enjoy Valentines day with (Um... if you're reading this (and you know who you are) it's not that I didn't enjoy last Valentines... but I think you know what I mean, right?)

The stormmaker says it ain't to bad
The dreammakers gonna make you mad
The spaceman says "Everybody look down!
It's all in your mind!"

Yeah, y'know what, that's all I've got for tonight
G'night, sleep well, and wish me luck that my next post may be better

-Your very own "Dreammaker"

Sam's Town

2009-01-24T15:51:00.002-07:00

Good afternoon internet! What should you be doing right now instead of reading this? Don't you have a job, or homework, or at least something more constructive you could be doing? My thoughts aren't that great. (Yet, you're still reading)
This week has been... well, a week. Not boring enough to whine about, but not exciting enough to have stories upon stories to convey... the high points of my week were probably either hanging out with friends/ Vanessa on Wednesday, getting my damn math midterm over and done with yesterday (which I'm fairly certain I did poorly on), and hanging out with the regular gang last night (minus Vanessa, unfortunately), and just had an awesome time doing nothing. God... it feels good to act like a teenager every once in a while, a feeling I deny myself of far to frequently with this life I've made for myself. Between an borderline obsessive interest in underground art, a strange philosophical outlook on existing, and a terribly critical view of myself, it doesn't leave a lot of room to just stay up late, rock out, have a bonfire every once in a while, and just sit back and take it easy.
Hmm... What else has been going on... Oh! My baby brother is crawling now (his first birthday is on May the fifteenth, a date that falls precariously close to my own). Anyways, now that he's mobile he's been much happier, although he is a fair deal more difficult to look after because he makes an effort to get into all of the things that he shouldn't be. Toys don't hold his interest (quite) the way that they used to. In a way though, we're all like that, satisfied with the little things that can merely hold our attention, and we will stay that way unless more is brought to our attention... or in the case of people like Max, or myself, go find more. Perhaps it's just some sort of indication of discontentment, but I like to think it's just a "quest" of sorts, to find what the world, and the people have to offer.
The one other thing that I want to comment on is the idea of people going into a "maniac" mode over something they're passionate about. (if that makes any sense) For example, I will be deeply offended, and will not hesitate to aggressively defend the music I listen to, or the artists I care about if they are insulted or attacked by someone else. Most everybody who I can think of has something that means this much to them, which is an awesome thing, because with that kind of passion put into something, incredible thing can be accomplished. The thing that I wanted to get at though is the opposite end of awesome. The way the people hurt each other when caught in the passion of forcing on, or defending something from/on someone. It is understandable to want to have something seen from your perspective, but is it really worth annoying someone, or in a particularly bad situation, flat-out make enemies?
Okay, I think that's everything for today. I should be back later this week with more...words
I totally wrote this post on a "Killers" high. Wait, when am I not on a Killers high?
Now! Go do something constructive!
(It's okay, I'm not either)
-Lover, dreamer, loser

http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=65

The Hunters Lullaby

2009-01-11T15:01:00.003-07:00

*Cracks knuckles* (Yes, I do that in reality, and it makes me feel cool).
Well, yesterday's post took me like three days to find the time to put that damn thing together, but if all goes as planned this post (Sunday, Jan 11, 2009) should be completed within a few hours. At this point, I feel almost obligated to bore you guys with little tidbits about music, but I have more artists that should definitely be checked out: The first is a group called "Eisley" (used to be named after the city "Moss Eisley" in Star Wars, but after a brief run in with the law department of LucasArts, they dropped the "Moss" in order to avoid a potentially ugly lawsuit). Anywho, a couple days back this delightful family band from Tyler, Texas was brought to my attention by a close friend. I purchased their EP "Telescope Eyes" and found it to be decidedly enjoyable... Sort of Tegan and Sara meets Paramore kinda thing. They have a certain "old-school rustic chick rocker" feel to them which gives a wonderful (but slightly hokey) spunky country girl effect.
Entry time!
Hm... I didn't really do too much between yesterdays entry and this today's post... I guess I just went to church, and had a talked with Vanessa (oh my god, seven months?) In my shallow realm of "dating" this is by a huge margin my longest (and most meaningful) relationship. Of course, there's always odd fluctuations in things, and from time to time, things don't really go according to plan (but usually they turn out better than originally conceived, so that's okay I guess. Also, would life be any fun at all if it always worked out as planned?) Either way though, things have been a bit strange with her, and I've been doing my best to get everything back to what could be regarded as a potential "ordinary", but deep down I feel like that's kinda history.
What else to I have to talk about... Oh! There's an amazing book I've been reading that should definitely be checked out by anyone who likes... well, I'm really not certain how to classify it at all. Really, if you like reading at all, and don't have any problems with graphic scenes then I strongly recommend that you check this out. Picture this: "If you can imagine that Peter Pan's enemy is not Captain Hook, but Neverland itself, or what the whale that swallows Jonah is Moby-Dick, you'll begin to appreciate what this book is about. Anticipate with dread, size, and understand. A riveting reading experience"
-Gregory Maguire, author of Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
Well, I guess that's about all I've got to say about my life right now. I'll be back with another post later this week, maybe next weekend at latest
Caught between the stars and underground, climbing up for the sheer purpose of falling back down
-Any other boy

Room Noises

2009-01-07T13:02:00.004-07:00

Well, well, well... here we are. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-two minutes to think about why you are here. You will not talk. You will not move from these seats. Any questions?
Heh... Movie references (Breakfast Club, for those of you that didn't know)
Anyways, sorry about the wait. I've been away for a while, as I believe I mentioned in my last post. More on that in a moment. The things that have gone on behind the boards that covered up this particular window to my life are many, and most were rather significant, and I'll do my best to get to (some of) those as well. However, first things must come first: Of course, over the holidays, I acquired several new albums, but the two that need an honorable mention on this site are: Stars "Set Yourself On Fire", and Tegan & Sara "The Con". Both are Canadian artists, that fall under the genre of "light, lyric-based indie rock", but obviously both are very different. Actually, for those of you who don't know, Tegan and Sara actually have a fairly interesting history to them. The duo are identical twins from Calgary, Alberta (which, isn't very far from where I live). They used to play as a band "PLUNK" which was absent a bassist and drummer. In their high school's recording studio they recorded their first two demo albums "Who's in Your Band", and "Play Day"
Okay, maybe it wasn't that interesting, (to you, anyways).
Okay, to get going with an actual entry... Wow, this is kinda strange to be writing again... Like I said, a ton has been going on in my life, but for the privacy of certain individuals, I'll keep the details to myself.
My trip to Mexico was awesome! I had probably the most amazing time ever while I was there, and it was hands-down the greatest new years eve of my life! At a point, in the middle of a street (a tiny, cobblestone street too, may I add) there was a fireworks display! A bizarre... tower of sorts, with fireworks all over it! The way the lights sprayed off in all directions, illuminating even the blackest of nights, and lightening even the darkest of hearts on that... Dare I say, warm, evening. The amazing part though, was that that wasn't even the high point of the trip for me. I'd elaborate further, but I really don't want to describe things in depth right now (I'm just not really in the mood), so if you want to know, just ask me, allright?
Relationships are strange. In this instance, I'm not talking about a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I'm more thinking along the lines of friendships, bonds, trust, love, that sort of thing, y'know? Why should you, or anyone for that matter be putting any faith in me? Who are you to trust a soul that could be darker, more twisted, and much, much deeper than you ever imagined? What give you the notion that confiding in me is your best option? Why even treat it as an option. I'm no guru, so why treat me like I know any better then you?
Well, that's about all I've got. Maybe when I've been properly aroused from this state of mental idle I'll do another, more fulfilling entry here.
But until then: This world isn't kind to little things. Protect the tender things, and the strong ones will take care of themselves
I can be as cruel as you, fighting fire with firewood.
-Chris

P.S. Don't ask why, but I need a new band name. Please post any ideas you may have as comments, please and thank you!

How far we've come

2008-12-14T13:22:00.002-07:00

Say what? Two posts one week? My God Chris, are you ill? Mad?
The (technical) correct answer to this question is yes, as I am slightly unwell with an annoying head cold, and the madness is... well, quite eminent.
The reason for me doing multiple posts in a single week though, is this: Lately I've been putting thought towards my journal I abandoned only after I started "My Song", and it's kind of sad entry-wise. Most of my journal entries were kind of vain and pointless, but that aside, I did one most every night, and I can read back on those, and tell quite clearly my own tale. In comparison, however, the blog gets only one post every week or so. Anyways, what to take from my little monologue is the fact that I'm going to try to do more entries. At least two a week, but... egh, maybe not, we'll have to see, I suppose.
Well, winter is most definitely upon us here in the frigged northern-regions. The days have become shorter, and the nights contrast this recent anti-growth. However, unlike the darkness's undeniable spreading, it hasn't reached me (at least, not yet.) I've been oddly happy for the last few weeks (minus, of course for a handful of incidents, but let us not reflect upon those too much.) It's been very strange for me to have a positive outlook on everything, and to have a contented existence, rather than constantly desiring more then what life actually has to offer.
Pulling a 180 degree spin on my current thought train, my parents recently had over for dinner the new band director of the Magrath high school, Sam Yamamoto. He has a tendency to be a little "hardcore" from time to time in his teaching methods, and has a few odd tendencies, and is a bit on the odd side, but overall, he is a really nice guy. Anyways, he was over for dinner, and rather then being all awkward and uncomfortable as I expected it to be, I actually had a good time. It was decidedly pleasant to just talk to him as some guy rather than a teacher... at risk of him ever hearing of this, I'm kinda hoping it'll happen again.
Strange how things happen isn't it? For example, whenever I'm doing a post, I always think it's just going to be a quick dip into the sea of the catacombs of my mind, but usually I wind up putting up way more then I originally intend to. If you really do put thought to it though, is that not how most things happen? All the way from falling in love with a magnificent girl you met on a bus, to starting some sort of global enterprise, and owning a quarter of the Earth, to the bad end of the spectrum, like unplanned parenthood, or suicide, or gradually, but surely changing what you are, from all of the things that you once believed in, to being an entirely different creature, having your own morals twisted against you. Maybe I'm off by a bit, or completely wrong altogether, but I can't help but feel that there's a truth to my own words (wow. If that doesn't sound cocky, I don't know what does.) Either way, it's just one odd boy's observations, as my own words are not set in stone, and everything I write is completely open to observation
Okay, goodnight (or morning), and may truth and beauty always be your guides.
Be the trouble you want to see in the world

-Chris

Gentle blizzard

2008-12-11T14:21:00.010-07:00

Hey world... In very recent retrospect, it may have been a good idea to come up with a topic, or actually have visualized an idea in my head before starting this entry (which I realize is way overdue, so my most sincere apologies. Sorry it's been so long... (okay, well only two weeks, but I've tried twice already to do an entry, but life keeps intervening, and I never get the chance to finish it. Today, however, I'll do what I can to complete an entry in... well, one social class. If not though, I'll do what I can to finish at home. The reason I haven't been writing though, is chiefly due to the fact that I have been incredibly busy with my church's Christmas production. I played the bass trombone in it, and all things considered, it went very well, minus a few small... Technical difficulties, such as the uncooperative llamas, the penultimate crying Jesus, and some small pranks played by the moving cast. The biggest thing about it though was the always reliving fact that lots (about 3500) people came, and got to hear the true meaning of Christmas.
Okay, biblical moment aside, I haven't really been feeling the Christmas spirit much this year, to be completely honest. Between the baby in the house, school, and how everybody seems so busy all the time, it just feels kinda... dead. I can't really elaborate much further than that, but it's just the way that the holidays have been striking me. There is, however something I'm greatly excited over: On December the 27th, my brother and I are going to freakin' Mexico! I can't wait to go, I get to see some family whom I haven't even talked to in nearly six months, and I get to... tie up some loose ends. Anyways, suffice it to say, I'm crazy stoked to go, and this should be a fun trip. I'll try to write at least once while I'm away.
I really don't have that much to talk about, but I would like to do a quick review. This one, however, is not of my normal medium; the beautiful, grace of music, no this is a bit different. This my friends/Internet strangers, is a video game.

Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions *Internet explorer fails at uploading image, I just leave it be*
This game, first of all, is a remake of the original Final Fantasy Tactics for the original PlayStation, released in 1997. As part of Square Enix's 20 year anniversary of the FF series, they released a remake of the game onto the PSP.
Obviously, the general idea of the game is the same, however, the things that one needs to keep in mind with this is: The graphics have been greatly amped up, plus there are some downright incredible CGI cutscenes throughout the game, complete with voiceovers, and an overall great feel. Also, there are several new jobs for your characters,(which I won't mention due to spoilers) creating a great new strategy one can employ to beat the enemy... And you'll need it. The AI is completely redone, and is (by a huge margine) more difficult than the original. You'll need all the help you can get. For lack of better way to describe it, all I have to say this this. You'll need patience, a good brain, and a bit of luck to make it through this game. I would recommend this game to anyone who is even remotely a fan of RPGs, RTSs, or even just looking for a good handheld game.
Wow... Just when I think I can't get geekier.
Ahh! 9 days until Vanessa's birthday... But... I'm prepared.
I'm nothing special, and I can take you down only one road. But I can promise you this. All the things you'll never find with others are down that path. Follow at your own risk.

In our Bedroom, After the War

2008-11-27T14:57:00.004-07:00

First things first: My most sincere apologies for the last entry. I was just... frustrated at everything while I wrote it. Twice I thought about deleting it, but a friend mentioned that it's not healthy to censor yourself, so I refrained.
Anyways, now that we're past that (you need not worry about me, the issue sorted itself out, and somehow, the pieces are stronger now then they ever were now that their back together, (somehow)).
Over the course of this week I haven't been up to too much. Mostly just preparation for the three parades I'm marching in this weekend... Other than that though, I've mostly just been wrestling with my mind (as usual) and trying to hold onto my madness in this world of sanity.
Jeez... This is making it's self out to be a rather boring entry... There's gotta be something that I've been doing... I've found a new artist that I've really gotten into, very quickly, which I haven't for a quite a while. Their a Canadian group, with a contract with "Arts & Crafts"... I'm a little embarrassed to say how little I know about this band. I know none of the band members names, only the general area from which they hail (Ontario, I believe). Anyways, the album that I want to give a mention to is their fourth, and newest album "In our Bedroom, After the War" The chemistry between Torquil Campbell and Amy Millan is just amazing. The way that they sing to each other, is beautiful and tender to the point of reminding oneself of two lovers serenading one another. They just have a sort of... peace and tranquility to their music, that isn't heard much (okay, well it is out there, but the kind of people I hang out with, it isn't, really). The one song that I want to make a particular mention to on the album is the third track "Take me to the Riot", a song about the stupid things that people do, but not giving up hope through it all.

Okay, well enough about my music. (Actually, that's a lie, but I don't want to bore any readers away)... I found out today that Vanessa and I practically have the same haircut. Not really relevant to anything, just thought I'd mention it for the sake of mentioning it.
Wait... Do I seem like one of those creepy obsessive boyfriends, that thinks of nothing but their girlfriend? That's not a pleasant thought... I mean, I care about her a lot, but I definitely don't want to be overly clingy or anything like that. I just want to be... Well, her friend... I don't want to take the "girl" part of that to seriously

Okay, I've gotta take off now, someone else needs the computer.
Trying to maintain my madness in a world of sanity.
-Chris

A little frusturation

2008-11-19T22:22:00.002-07:00

Grr... Since this thing has become my new journal, I've got to say this. This is an angry entry, and my substitute for beating my head against a wall and screaming at the sky. Right now, I'm mad at, and fed up with everything. I'm not sure if I want to talk about why, but it has to do with stupid oppressive shit that I have no control over. It makes me downright furious that I can't do anything about this! Fuck! No matter what is done, it's not accomplishing anything. I've waited, and worked hard, and simply done my best, but it isn't good enough. I feel so helpless. Why doth thou piss in me so?!? Why can't things just work out the way I want them to! I don't want to say that this is unfair but... It is! I try to be a good boyfriend! I work really hard to do all the right things. I do my fucking best to say all the right things, and to be the kind of guy she deserves, so why do I deserve this? Why can't this just... Work out the way that I want it to. I know I'm selfish, and self-centered, and I hate myself for all my stupid shortcomings, but I want this more than most anything. I love her, and what I have with her, but I hate how it has to be. I've been waiting forever for something to change, but it's not! God, if somewhere, somehow you're reading this, then listen to my prayer. Please. I want this more than anything else. Just... Help everything to work out.
*sigh* sorry for that. If anyone read that, I'm sorry. Just, try to understand how I'm feeling. If anyone wants to ask me, feel free to. I can't say I'll share, but If you feel like it, go ahead.

60-second reviews

2008-11-13T19:06:00.010-07:00

Rather than actually piece together intelligent thoughts for this entry, I'll do something that a little voice inside me has been nagging me to do for a little while now: A top 10 list. It took my a while to think of a good thesis for things to make a list of, but I finally decided that instead of actually trying to pick favorites with something, I'd just push the shuffle button on my ipod, and do quick reviews on the first ten songs. So... I guess this isn't really a top ten at all, but whatever. Hope you enjoy!

10. Avril Lavigne "Falling Down", B Sides
Jeez. Looks like even the first song on the list is doomed to embarrass me. But, hey, I promised this didn't I? Okay, I'm man enough to admit that I do actually like Avril BEFORE the release of "The Best Damn Thing". After that she just became another sellout, trashing her values and the rebellious, spiritual punk girl she was, just to increase her fanbase... I'm disappointed, to be frank. Oh well. This song, anyways, is more of just a motivational song about how no matter what you are, or what you do, you are damned to make mistakes and "fall down", but it's up to us to make our own way back up. The sweet feeling of earth on my body... I suppose that is a good message though. It's really a shame that she had to go away from this kind of music though. Oh well, next song!

9. Eels "My Beloved Monster", Beautiful Freak
Okay, this one reflects what I would like to call my taste a lot better. Many people actually know of this song due to the fact that it appears in the movie "Shrek" (The first one, that is), but that isn't actually how I came to know this criminally underrated artist. A friend simply told me about them, and lent me the album thinking I would like them. And like them I did! Mournfull, yet thoughtful lyrics, sensetive instrumentals, and a dark, but somehow increadably uplifting feel to it. Anyone into artists like Radiohead, Cake, Coldplay, or the Moldy Peaches should really check these guys out. You won't regret it.

8. System Of A Down "She's like Heroine", Hypnotize
I'm slapping myself in the forhead right now. It's almost like my ipod (named James) is making a concious effort to make a fool out of me. Well... What's done is done. Let's get this over with. Okay, for starters, the odd-ness aside, I have an good (though very strange) relationship with SOAD. The same friend mentioned above who lent me "Beautiful Freak" also lent me this... Actually looking back on him, he is a pretty strong musical influence on me. However, it was Vanessa who actually helped me past the initial gag reflex (I say that in the nicest possible way) of the band. About the actual song though, it's one of those things that you have to try really, really hard not to take so seriously. It's about transvestites, prostitution, and (obviously) heroine. Seriously, the last minute of the song is just Serj Tankien yelling "Ass! Selling ass for heroine!" The only other thing I have to say about the song is that it is almost as addictive to listen to as the drug it mentions. I can certainly say what I'll be listening to after I'm done this list.

7. Superbus "Radio Song", Pop'n'gum
Of all of the songs mentioned so far, this one is differnt from the first three in two ways: 1. It's the first foregin (French, for those of you who didn't know) band on the list, and second, it's by a long shot the band I know the least about. All I really know Jennifer Ayache took a trip to America to perfect her english or something like that, and somehow wound up starting a band. The song is a playable track on GH:III, and is really catchy. What I imagine it's about is probably just about the youth controlling the world, as they're desinted to... From the little I know about this band, all I can say is that I reccomend them to anyone into bubblegum pop, foregin or not

6. Rob Zombie "Living Dead Girl" Hellbilly Deluxe
Yup. This finalizes it. James has decided he hates me. Nothing I do say about Rob Zombie will change whatever anyone else thinks about him/his music. It's not bad in a "backround noise" kind of way. I honestly normally wouldn't be conciously listening to this. This song is a straightforward, cryptic metal song about the undead. No hidden meanings here. The title says it all. If you want to find out more about this (if you havn't heard it already) just check it out. I really don't know what to say about this.

5. Ben Harper "Here Comes the Sun" Live *No Artwork Availible*
Oh man... I don't really know all that much about Ben Harper to be honest, but I'll do the best with this that I can. First thing that that one should know is that although this is a soft acoustic meolody with soft singing, it is NOT a cover of the Beatles song by the same name. Ben Harper's music (generally speaking) is full of mourful melodies not unlike this one, and if I had to compare his style to other artist, I would say... Jack Johnson, Adam Duritz, and (some) Erik Clapton.

4. The Arcade Fire "Ocean of Noise" Neon Bible

First things first. Arcade Fire is awsome. Be prewarned, I have a very soft spot for Win Butler (as I have mentioned in past entries), and will never, ever say anything bad about his band, so this little portion of the entry will be a tad biased. This song is about false love, and lying to avoid breaking someone's heart. I think this song is very strong in following the albums theme of desecrating things that were holy, and in this instance, that "thing" is love, most likely represented by an unhealthy relationship, or a one night stand. Lyrics aside though, the instrumentals are just fabulous. Slow, sollem piano riffs, mandolin genly crying in the backround, and a soft drumbeat tying the voices of Win and Regine together in a beautiful harmony, sure to make even the most savage listeners smile, and relax a little. If you are not familliar with The Arcade Fire, please, get off the computer, walk to your local record store, go find a copy of Neon Bible, buy it, and listen to it in one sitting. Seriously. This album is just... Amazing... Well, lets see if the next song can measure up.

3. Bella "Camelot" No One Will Know

Wow. Looks like it can. This is probably the most obscure band on my list, and honestly, next to The Arcade Fire, probably my favorite. This 3-man (well, one man, two women) trio from downtown Vancouver came out with their sophmore album in late 2007. This album if chock-full of bouncy pop rythms, and an offbeat, punkish attitude that flows from one track to the next, to the point you'll have a heartbroken, but slightly satisfied feeling when the last tracks are rolling past your ears This band may be hard for someone to find much about, but if you have the opprotunity to, don't pass it up. Okay, about the song it's self, the general message of it (if you pay any attention to the upbeat lyrics, and aren't just mesmerized by the bass and the drums laying out a brilliant bass for the electronic treble sounds, and the voice of Cameron Fraser), are mostly about finding your way in a crowded, confusing world, and staying on the lighter side of life.

2. Linkin Park "Somewhere I belong" Meteora

On the opposite end of the spectrum from the last track, here we have Linkin Park, which I'm pretty sure is the most known song so far... I have no idea how to review a song everybody has heard a million times before. Well, all I can say is this: If you like Linkin Park, and for whatever reason havn't, check out this song. If you don't, then stay away. Sorry to cut this short, but no matter what I say, won't change anybody's opinions on the artis already. (Meteora = L.P.'s high point)

1. Blink-182 "All the Small Things" Enema of the State

I can't think of a single other song that I'd rather end this with. So what if this is the punk anthem of a generation? So what if it's repeditive and catchy? So what if it's heartwarming and thoughtful. This song is one of my personal anthems, and I feel that it embodies the late 90's and the end of an era, and the begining of another. I have nothing bad to say about this song. I don't even care how grossly overplayed it is. I... ugh, simply don't know what to say

"Say it ain't so, I will not go

Turn the lights off, carry me home

Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill,

The night will go on, my little windmill"

And that pretty well sums up what I have to say about "All the Small Things"

And thus concludes my review. If you like this at all, leave a comment, and maybe I'll do another one sometime soon. Hope you enjoyed

Neon Bible

2008-11-06T12:57:00.000-07:00

Is daydreaming a sin?... Food for thought I suppose, but it's just one of those things that my mind insists upon wandering to while being subjected to such drivel. I'm trapped in a computer lab with the same class thatG my little brother is in (papercointastical.blogspot.com). Anyways, my apologies for the false promise of an entry on Sunday. Simply put, one thing led to another, and I never got around to doing it. Suffice it to say though, the dance, though it was a crappy school dance, complete with annoying lights, mediocre smoke effects, an awful soundtrack, and the watchful eyes (yet again) of teachers, it still managed to make it's self enjoyable... No small part to Vanessa, yet again.
I don't want to cut this entry short, but I really don't have much to say... No, wait, I lied, I do have one interesting topic I want to get in on. Lately I've been finding myself automatically pondering what/how my actions affect the mindsets of other people. Not their emotions directly, but more their... conscience thinking, and simple (or, rather, not so simple) trains of thought. It's fascinating to try to piece together the psyche of an individual. Anyone from my grouchy, but good-natured finance teacher, to the girl reading this over my shoulder.
Gah... These terrible book reports are driving me mad! Okay, I'm going to go drown this annoyance in "The Arcade Fire's" album "Neon Bible". It's all about the desecration of things that were once holy (love, religion, individualism, sex, and peace) that's meanings have all been twisted by capitalism, and corporations. Well, even with the awesome message, it's still amazing to listen to... Hell, Win Butler could be reading the phone book, and it'd still be way better than most of the stuff I listen to. If you want a good listen, check this album out. It's worth any sum of money, trust me.
Remember, if worse comes to worse, follow your heart, and trust your head. Best of luck!

Hold on now Youngster

2008-10-31T18:00:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure what's sadder. The fact that I'm hanging out alone with a Los Campesinos EP on Halloween, a night where ordinary teenagers are up to all sorts of no good, or the fact that I willingly chose that over going Trick-or-Treating/mischievous antics with my friends tonight. In any regard, spending time alone is really nice. I haven't been doing much of that lately. It's always people, activities, family stuff, and all sorts of other life consuming things that involve me having little time just to myself. It's strangely religious feeling, just to close my eyes, and have wild bass lines, frantic, mildly distorted guitars, and odd indie punk-ish lyrics all around me.
Heh... Well, to be completely honest, I'm not entirely alone. I do have my trusty cross-continental IMing friend, a strange girl, to be blunt, but a good friend. I sometimes have trouble believing how close the two have us have become without ever meeting face to face... But, only time will tell what will happen there.
Lets see... Today a friend of mine kinda got me into role playing a little bit. That is some weird shit. Well, it's not just the idea of doing everything through/pretending to be your character, but how the people who actually do regularly partake in it. Most of them are just odd, lonely outcasts, not unlike myself. They (mostly) have really bizarre, yet fascinating ideas about things, all though they often don't have the best words to describe things with.
I wish that tonight would hurry up and finish. I have a date tomorrow with Vanessa, but as for tonight, the two of us are apart, just wishing we weren't. Hold on... I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but Vanessa and I don't actually live in the same town. We live in neighboring towns, about a 10 minute drive apart. The thing is though, when neither of us can drive, 10 minutes suddenly becomes a much larger distance. Pfff... Oh well. It's not too long now, before we actually can.
Jeez. Only as listening to the album drawing to a close do I realize how long I've taken to write just this short entry. Maybe I should draw it to a close before too long. I would greatly appreciate it if my brain could come up with any amazing, poetic inspirational words to make up for that much teenage angst, but that's pretty wishful thinking. Walking like giant cranes, with my X-ray eyes I strip you naked in... something. That was a line from "A Wolf at the Door" by Radiohead, the last track on the album "Hail to the Thief".
G'night, have a stellar Halloween, and don't aggravate the pumpkin king.

*Edit* I'm writing this the morning after Halloween, and it turns out, it was great. Not to long after I finished the post, I got a phone call from Vanessa, asking me if I wanted to hang out with her and her friends that night. Obviously, I said yes, and the night was a blast! It was so fun just to lose my inhibitions, and just let loose... Be a teenager, once in a while.
In any regard though, I suppose my whining was all to waste, but hey, it's all part of life, right?

Happy November 1st, sleep in, and wish me luck for the dance tonight. If anything memorable happens, I'll write about it on Sunday (or Monday, maybe)

Mormon Dances

2008-10-25T12:00:00.001-06:00

For anyone familliar with the general concept of LDS dances should know this already: They're tame, generic, repeditve, and often just downright boring. The event I attended last night, however, was quite different. Yes, it was the same songs that are always played, yes it was the (mostly) same crowd, and of course the choking supervision of authoritative Mormons everywhere. The different part is credited to one person though. A girl by the name of Vanessa. God... Last night was the happiest I've been in a long time. Were this not a place where anyone at all could see my blog I'd write all about the amazing time I had in unhealthy depth, but I'll refrain. Anyone who does want to know, feel free to ask, I may (or may not, it depends who you are) ,elaborate on the events of the night.

Anyways, I just wanted to mention that, while it was still really fresh in my head. For the rest of this entry, I suppose I'll just let on a bit more about myself. I'm Canadian (and damn proud of it) I have four siblings, and I'm the oldest, but I don't mind it... In fact, I kinda like being the oldest, and carving my own paths, and guiding my bothers and sisters along the way. I have a slightly obbsesive relationship with my music. I'm very, very passionate about the arts, and people who don't care about that drive me crazy. And, my favorite clothing brand is threadless (www.threadless.com) 'Tis great

Okay, I just wanted to say some of those things while I could. I apoligize for any typos that may be in here, as I'm working with a new keyboard, and it's kinda unnatural for me to write with.
Oh well. Do what you can, right?
There must be an angel with a smile on her face, when she thought up that I should be with you.

Morning Glory

2008-10-22T14:37:00.000-06:00

The first thing that should be established is this: This entry is another being written in class. I would have wrote last night, but my unhealthy Super Metroid addiction said otherwise. To be completely honest, I don't have to much to talk about that has happened since Sunday.
Lets see... Monday was my Grandfathers 91st birthday, which by any margin is quite an amazing lifespan. I can't help but wonder how existence (in general) has changed since he was my age... Odds are he was far more masculine, and physically in shape than me. The real thing that had me wondering was this thought, however: Was he a dreamer? Did he ever think that there was more to life than this? Maybe seventy-five years ago, Otto Gast wasn't that unlike me... As much as I wish that to be true, I think that that's not quite the case. I believe that if someone is a dreamer, they'll always be... *sigh* It's times like this I pray that I'm right. If being odd, with my head in the clouds, wanting more than what this world has to offer... I don't want to change. If growing up, and being a normal, functional, reasonable member of society is what I'm meant to be... Then I hope I have the courage to be wrong, or cast off my destiny.
Anyways, my apologies for that... I didn't mean to get all existential there, but it just sort of... happened. I'll try to at least give good warning before I do that again (which will, without doubt, happen)

I have very soft hair today!

Lazy Sunday

2008-10-19T13:11:00.001-06:00

*Yawn* It's a lazy Sunday afternoon. Instant messaging with my mother, looking at the last handful of leaves left alive on the lonely treetops. In an odd manner of thinking, it's a little tragic, the way that they futilely cling on to the treetops, only to be swept away at some point. Ugh... Lets not get going too far down this thought path, for risk of going into the whole "questioning mortality" cycle, and then that just get's everything going around in circles...
Anyways, several days ago, I had a conversation with a dear friend (who may or may not be reading this post), which wound up revolving around the idea of... The maturity in a relationship, and how that will grow with me, and the various responsibilities of not letting that maturity come ahead of me. It just made me think about how, she was right, in saying that I need to be careful, not only with myself, but about how what I do could easily change the life of another person. This might be kind of a roundabout way of saying it, but we're all in this together. Some kind of magical chorus of all of our souls, entwined.
Well, before I go, I leave you all with this: The pain of making a mistake is nothing compared to the pain of a mistake you wish you had made.

P.S. Anyone looking for good music, check out Radiohead's 5th album, Hail to the Thief.

Fourth period, Monday... Ugh...

2008-10-06T14:32:00.000-06:00

I've tried to do this before, and so far it's never turned out, but I guess I'll give it another try. What I'm talking about, with my obscure reference, is doing writing in the computer lab during class time... I wonder if by doing more frequent entries, I'll fall into a trap of my own creation, and whatever quality was to my entries to begin with will deteriorate. Oh well... It's not worth getting to worked up about.
Anyways, it's come to the point that I'm done my work, and now I'm just waiting for class to end. Obviously, nothing big has happened in the last two days, so instead of that, I'll try to write about my thoughts. Lately I've been contemplating our motivations about why we do what we do, and the thing that I've found, is that most of our actions are driven by three main motives: Guilt, self-gratification, and passion (namely love and anger, often a combination of the two).
Well, I try to have at least something memorable in each last paragraph, but I think that that'll be difficult in this instance, considering the classroom setting. Heh... The way things are, I'm proud of myself for having even proper grammar in this entry, nonetheless actually having slightly interesting thoughts. Well, I thank anyone who took the time to read this, and I'll try to have something more worthwhile next time.
Lay awake, with the city in silence.

No Alarms, no Suprises

2008-10-05T17:30:00.000-06:00

Ugh... The monotony of life has really been getting to me lately. I need to switch something up in my life, or I'll simply go crazy. In any regard though, my promise to myself to attempt to do at least one entry a week has failed. Every time I attempt to come up with something worth reading, I just tire myself out, and run out of steam.
Hm... Instead of buying myself a new guitar like I kept thinking I was going to, I realized that the guys who I rock with, we're simply a garage band. No one is watching us, so the looks of our equipment won't make a difference. So, I invested in a new digital distortion pedal. It is amazing! So much fun to play with.
Woah... that wasn't good at all. I apologize for that, as it was completely unneeded. If nothing else though, it does help to illustrate the state of mental idle I've been in.
Before I finish this, let me say this to the world though. Life is only as perfect as you make it. Saints and sinners alike, life is beautiful.
Morning bell.

A bit more about myself

2008-09-27T21:21:00.000-06:00

Hello world. Writing this on a brisk autum night, with a window open right next to me. It feels cool and clean. It's a good feeling to write to.
Anyways, not a ton has gone on in my life since the last entry. Be slightly different as I may, I still attend school like the masses.
Getting going on a topic completely unrelated to what I've mentioned above, I want to write about someone. An individual with whom I've forged an inexplicable connection with over the past year. My dear friend, recently turned girlfriend, Vanessa. I can't explain what the two of us have with words alone, so I'm not going to even attempt... But she means a lot to me, and I probably will be bringing her up in future posts, just for your referance.

Life is beautiful. Everything and everyone about it. The way we interact and live amongst each other. The way we form bonds and friendships, and have fallouts that destroy love over a matter of seconds. We make up, and become friends again. The world is crazy, and the people in it are all crazy. Nevertheless... Everything is... Music. This is our song.
Sing with me, don't worry that the world is watching.

Introductions

2008-09-17T14:58:00.000-06:00

First off, let me establish this. There will be little, or no consistency to the content, and quality of this blog. It may have page long posts, or some entries that are only a couple sentences long. It all depends on what kind of a mood I'm in. I might write entries about taboo topics, things that could offend someone, or I might just talk about what I wore today, but no matter what I wind up doing, I'll try to keep things interesting. Wish me luck